Surviving the Holidays When You're Newly Single: Tips for Moving Forward

The tree is up, holiday music is playing around the clock, and the smell of pine trees is in the air. But if you find yourself newly single this holiday season, all that Christmas cheer may sting more than it sparks joy.

Between dealing with the well-meaning but sometimes intrusive questions about your love life, scrolling through photos of happy couples taking winter strolls, and having to RSVP solo to all those holiday parties, it’s easy to feel lonely when everyone else looks oh-so merry and bright snuggled lol up with their special someone.

But just because everyone else has expectations about your relationship status, and Aunt Rosie is itching to fix you up, it doesn’t mean you have to wallow in misery about being single this time of year. In fact, embracing the solo holiday vibe can be unexpectedly satisfying if you make just a little shift in the way you think about it.

Here are a few tips for surviving, and even thriving, when you’re flying solo during the holidays:

Acknowledge your Feelings

First and foremost, don’t ignore your feelings. It’s okay to be sad, angry, or even relieved. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship. Remember, it’s perfectly normal to experience a wide range of emotions during this time.

Focus on Festive Self-Care

Take time out this season to embrace activities that bring you joy and comfort. Lean into the me-time rituals you love, like relaxing with your favorite book or movie, cooking your favorite meal (or dessert), or treating yourself to a massage. Carve out time for your favorite hobbies and creative outlets. Take some of the money you would typically set aside for date night or gifts for a partner and spend it on yourself. The most important thing? Take the time to relax and prioritize your wellbeing.

Stay Active and Healthy

Maintaining physical activity and a healthy diet can do wonders for your mental health. Whether it’s a long walk, jogging, yoga, or hitting the gym, find an activity that works for you.

Set Loving Boundaries

This is an important time to set healthy and loving boundaries for the people around you to protect your emotional and mental well-being. Politely decline prying questions about your love life from family; skip social media if photos of happy couples are triggering. Don’t be afraid to limit interactions with your ex, if needed, particularly if you still share the same friend circle. Give yourself whatever space that you need.

Ring in the Season with Friends

Surround yourself with friends and family who understand and support you. Don’t shy away from sharing your feelings with them. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re going through can be incredibly therapeutic. They are also great company when it comes to celebrating the holidays. Attend holiday parties together as a group; organize an “orphans” Christmas dinner with other singles; or exchange silly or heartfelt gifts during your own Friendmas. Your friends can provide much-needed love, support, and acceptance to help you heal from your breakup.

Start New Traditions Just for You

The season is a great opportunity to start new traditions that celebrate your independence. Take a solo trip to check out holiday festivities in a new city, volunteer your time in your community, or curate a personalized winter reading list. Find new ways of feeding your spirit that will help you to heal.

Volunteer Your Time

The holidays are a time for giving, and volunteering can be a fulfilling way to channel your energy. Helping others can also shift your perspective and remind you of what you have to be grateful for.

Avoid the Ex-Trap

It might be tempting to check up on your ex, but this can hinder your healing process. Focus on yourself and your journey. Social media sabbaticals can be especially helpful in this regard.

Reflect and Set Goals

Use this time to reflect on your personal growth and set goals for the future. What have you learned from your past relationship? What do you want in your next chapter?

The holidays may initially spotlight your single status after a breakup. Still, once the shock settles, this season can become a welcome reset filled with intentional me-time and chances to reconnect with friends (and possibly even a holiday fling!). It’s also a great time to reflect, grow, and prepare for the exciting possibilities that lie ahead. Remember, your worth is not defined by your relationship status.

So throw on your comfy sweats, make yourself a steamy mug of Wassail (look it up! It’s great!), and relax into the simple comforts this festive time of year brings. The best cure for heartbreak? Letting your solo spirit shine.

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For more insights on navigating the complexities of relationships and embracing single life, stay tuned to Date Night Notes.